Blogging · Inspiration · Social Media · Unfriending Facebook

Unfriending Facebook: Days 7-10

2/22/18 – 2/25/18

I took a few days off the blogging.

I’ve been depressed. Not inordinately so, but enough to not want to try and write about it every day.

I’ve been thinking about what I spoke to my therapist about. While I’m becoming more and more glad that I’ve gotten the poison of “the network” out of my daily routine, I’ve been really thinking about what kinds of connections are important to me.

While it’s completely easy to type a few words and then send it out to the majority of the people I know…it’s not the kind of relationship that brings me the most joy. I love being in face to face conversations, and creating memories in real life. I’m struggling with the people that I love that aren’t local. I’m not sure how to keep in touch with people outside a quick visit distance.

I’ve had people reach out after the news of our old friend’s passing. And it’s meant way more than a “like” or an emoji.

So I’ve been painting again and it’s given me focus. Working on some projects around the house, and going out with the kids on errands. Spending more quality time with the family as I can.

But I started getting messages again last night via e-mail about some of the groups I belong to. Somehow, my account had been reactivated. So I had to go through and deactivate again.

For the third time.

Yes, a real screenshot of FB’s emotional blackmail.

It’s getting easier, but the picture being painted of a bad breakup is getting creepier and creepier.

I’m still a junkie.

Blogging · Inspiration · Social Media · Unfriending Facebook

Unfriending Facebook: Day 6

2/21/18 – Wednesday

I woke up shaken from last night’s dresser debacle. My children and husband are still sleeping as I left for work.

The sky is dark, but there’s a faint pinkish-amber glow to the East. The sun is coming out. The sky is beautiful and I want to take a picture and share with my friends like I usually do whenever there is a beautiful morning. I remember that I’m not on “the network”. I could post to Instagram or Twitter but most of my friends don’t have accounts there.

I went to my therapist and we spoke about this change for me. I felt stupid for feeling like this is a big deal. But there’s a theory called creative adjustment. It has to do with the changes in behavior we make to thrive in the world. And while sometimes it’s small, like drinking a different kind of coffee because the one you like is more expensive. While sometimes, it’s shifting all of your social life so you can keep in touch with the majority of your friends all in the same place.

I’ve spent years shifting my events, calendars, photos, invitations, and motivational art as well as regular updates about my life on the network.

I’m feeling lost right now without it.

And the number of people that are consistently sending me messages on what I’m missing and when I come back I can filter things. But the problem is…I’d be filtering out everything…and then, what’s the point?

My therapist said that it resonates with his clients who are in recovery from drug or alcohol addiction. That I’m trying to break myself of something that had become so ingrained in my social life, that others who likely have addictions will want me to come back because if I’m doing it, that it might make them reexamine their own use.

Later tonight, I found out an old friend suddenly died. There was no warning and there was no preparing.

I wanted to be in the community, to commiserate and be part of the group healing.

I felt sad and had no way to let it out.

I’m still a junkie.