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Unfriending Facebook: Day 4

2/19/18 – Monday

The morning felt sluggish. I don’t know how my friends are. I feel a huge urge to reactivate the account. I feel like emailing everyone I know, telling them I miss them…

I feel sad.

The downtime I would usually spend scrolling, catching up with people and seeing what things are making my friends happy or frustrated that day felt really rough the first Monday without Facebook.

I was, however, able to get caught up on the news, thanks to The Skim that aggregates the big news in bite sized portions without too much overload. I kept informed without too many details that would send me into a spiral of obsession and anxiety.

I got into no online arguments, mostly because I had no contact with anyone. So it’s a net push.

I thought a lot about art. Did a little sketching. Planned out some pieces I wanted to paint. I felt cagey that I couldn’t do art that very second.

Frankly, I feel cagey full stop.

A friend sent a screen shot of some drama on FB. It was like someone offering a recovering alcoholic a Jack and Coke. I started to feel upset at the discontent of the friend that posted. I wanted to fix it. I wanted to defend people. The hubs said I should not so politely ask the copy paste-r to cut it out. I feel like a child calling myself an addict to Facebook. But that hit of the old drug sent me quickly back into the feeling that I needed to jump back online and fix the problem.  Thankfully, I did not.

My mind has been adrift and out of focus and it felt like the day slipped away from me.

I got home, took care of the kids. and crashed. There was some D&D in there, though the game was short two of the four players. But all in all it was a great rp session, even if my brain felt fuzzy.

I wanted to know how my people were.

I passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I’m still a junkie.


Post Election: Daring to Hope?

Tuesday night, I was numb. Wednesday I cried. Today, I move forward.

Yesterday, I read a few mean-spirited, gloating posts and I heard jokes from well-intended people who do not understand the fears of many of their fellow Americans.

And for many hours, I lost hope.

For me, this was an incredible loss. To feel that the country around me was so disenfranchised that they put their vote in someone who preached such hate. To give the highest title an elected Continue reading “Post Election: Daring to Hope?”