Tuesday night, I was numb. Wednesday I cried. Today, I move forward.
Yesterday, I read a few mean-spirited, gloating posts and I heard jokes from well-intended people who do not understand the fears of many of their fellow Americans.
And for many hours, I lost hope.
For me, this was an incredible loss. To feel that the country around me was so disenfranchised that they put their vote in someone who preached such hate. To give the highest title an elected official can attain in this country to a man that by his own admission was happy to torture, deport and discredit millions of humans, let alone Americans. America gave control of legislation solely to a single party who has worked to tighten around inclusiveness and work against the liberties of their own countrymen and women.
I felt hurt and unsafe. And what made things even worse was to hear and read that my feelings and the feelings of millions of human beings boiled down to sour grapes.
I know victims of sexual assault. I know trans-Americans. I know Muslims, Jews, Pagans among many other marginalized and vilified faiths. I know and love those of a multitude of races and racial backgrounds. I am part of the LGBTQ+ community and I know so many that fall under the umbrella or QUILTBAG. I know and love disabled persons. I know and love veterans. I am a Druid. And for us, and so many more people who are parts of marginalized minorities be they faith, race, color, nationality, sexuality, gender or ability, our fear is real.
The violence and hatred shown to many of my loved ones is real. And it has been given a gust of power this election season. From the words of the President-elect, from the words and actions of his supporters, people who once felt ashamed of their bigotry now feel they have tacit permission to swing open their doors and act on their worst, most fearful impulses. And it has real life and death consequences.
Yesterday, I saw no hope. I saw no future for our planet’s well being. I saw four years of fear. And it rocked me to my core.
But then…I began to see love. To read in beautiful words by incredibly intelligent, insightful and empathetic people that I was not alone. That the fears of my friends and loved ones were not misplaced. That feeling that way was valid, but not to give up hope.
I was shown great compassion and community and I was beginning to feel a bit of strength return to my spirit.
Last night, I gathered with a few friends and prayed and raised energy for strength, peace, love and perseverance. I told people I loved them and they told me I, too was loved. I woke up to a new morning.
I am still incredibly anxious, for my family and my loved ones of especially marginalized minorities. But I woke with a passion to do better, to act more. To be an example to others as well as fighting injustice as an American with my words, my money, my privilege and my activism. And I am not alone. I am surrounded by caring hearts, wounded, but strong. And we want to work to make America Safe again.
I wear my safety pin now and I hope to spread love and acceptance in my every action. For those who voted for our President elect and those who did not. I am the change and I wish to use the time I have left in this life to make the world a little better for everyone.